A NEW DEVICE to add Amusement to our days! Muscle Pain Relief for Fibromyalgia!
I woke up with a migraine yesterday. This is a normal thing that happens occasionally, and when I first started seeing a neurologist, he asked me if I had experienced dramatic migraines. When in fact, I hadn’t as frequently as he said I should have by the point, and condition that my brain was in. I do however wake up with the sinus headaches, and then the muscle tension migraines.
Yesterday, happened to be one of those muscle tension migraines that literally had every muscle in my shoulders tensed up that sent pain shooting into my neck and brain. I was in dire straits, that I was desperate enough to call and recruit my mom to accompany me to the massage parlor (I affectionately refer to them as “happy ending places”) to get the kinks worked out. My downfall, she had already seen her chiropractor the day before, but she texts me back with, “I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Wouldn’t you know it she showed up with this neat little device.
I’m telling you, while this thing is marked down, you literally just need to buy it, even if it’s for comedy relief. This little device, the Cervical Vertebra Massager rocked my world, and let me tell you how.
Insert a knock at my door, my mother coming to my rescue, telling me this is the best thing since sliced bread, it will save me from the pain I was enduring. This was one of those all my shoulder and back muscles were so cramped that any pain had to be better than the pain that I was enduring and pulling on all the headache muscles in my brain. I was down for anything.
She pulls out this little sticky patch with “electrodes” and then snaps this cervical device that can be recharged by USB, and slaps that puppy on my back right across the base of my neck. Now we aren’t doctors, but I’m going to tell you, we don’t play around when it comes to this kind of pain, we go to the ROOT of the problem always. She hits a button and asks, “You feel that?” “Nope, nothing.” I reply. She hits a button again and says, “how about that?” I said, “Nada.” She hits a button again and as I’m proceeding to say, “Is it on?” a jolt of electricity buckles me over, throws me forward and pops my neck in an instant, as I scream a slew of profanities, crossing my legs and praying I don’t pee all over the floor.
“What the hell you put on me, that hurts worse, than a dog shock collar!” as I am screaming, laughing, and trying not to pee myself. It’s pulsating the electricity through my muscles with fierceness. With laughter and tears in her eyes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to turn it on that setting! Do you want me to shut it off? Oh my God!” as we continue to laugh until we are crying. “No, No, I’ll be fine, just leave it on, the worst is over.” The laughter continued.
I vaguely remember accusing her of damn well knowing what it would do, and that she should have videoed that mess to which we laughed some more. I’m pretty sure that if I had an Echo Show with Multiple Camera Views set up I am telling you though, that was probably the most relief I have felt from Fibromyalgia and Neuropathy pain in years. After removing the device and 12 minutes of therapy, I suggest you apply some Lidocaine of some-sort to the area, just to relieve residual pain, especially with neuropathy, so your skin doesn’t hurt. Icy Hot is a good resolve to that dilema.
Later that night, as my husband was arriving home and I was collecting the box from the counter I received a text from my mom. “Warning, Do not use it as a torture device!!!! LOL” My reply, “LMAO how’d you know? David just got home!” She just KNEW that I was going to torture my husband just for giggles. Little did I know, the joke would be on myself AGAIN before the end of the night.
Fast forward after I showed my husband the power of said device, that I had to charge it. Then I applied it to my right shoulder that was still acting up just a tad bit. Turned it on, but when the patch that I applied to my skin that holds the device in place came up a little, I reached back to readjust while the device was on, and my finger got stuck on the pad electrode, and I was grounded in a complete circle, so my arm was flexing glued to the pad, sending and electrode from my shoulder to my fingertips and back through, leaving me screaming, “Help, Help, Help me David, shut it off!”
I highly advise, never use this device without an extra pair of hands handy to shut off that button in places you can’t reach. If you need new sticky patches, you can order those too! I’m telling you, I’m the test subject here, and if it’s working for my mom, and myself, as long as you have assistance during use. You got to have this in your artillery. My hubby also pointed out, this thing is powerful enough, if you were brave enough to apply it to your abdomen, it’d probably give you a heller ab workout as well, but that’s not what it’s made for.
***NOTE: There are two versions to this Massager, the battery operated and the USB charged one. Battery operated has less jolt and less power to it, however, USB charging is what my mom used on me. We have both, so for a tame less shocking experience I suggest battery operated, but for those massive muscle cramps, only USB will do for DEEP TISSUE massage.
ALLERGICTO YOURBULLSHIT 