Tag Alzheimer's

I’m the guinea pig…

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My venture into being my own lab rat…

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Butea Superba is an herbal supplement that I recently discovered. Let me tell you if you click the link above, you can purchase and partake in the said herb. Throughout my venture of getting better I’ve came across various supplements that have helped me in my journey, some that I continue to take, and some that only helped for a little while, but not for the long term.

I’ve been a on a specific hunt to heal my brain, and improve my cognitive function, knowing that eventually I may actually have to relent to dementia or Alzheimer’s at an early age. I still leave that in the back of my mind. The MRIs don’t lie. I have a lot of black space in there, from the various abuses I sustained over my lifetime in my early years before I turned 28, that basically results in damage. Science has proven, that abuse in many forms is just as damaging to the brain just as much as the many concussions that I have suffered in my lifetime. I can at least count 5 maybe 6 total that I did suffer, that I remember.

My husband is also 18 years my senior. Don’t worry we were well beyond the ages of we didn’t give a shit when we fell in love, and age wasn’t a consideration, and still isn’t today. When it comes to my venture into the world of supplements, he’s been ALL in for choosing this over the millions of doctor appointments and tests that had not been getting me anywhere.

I became essentially my own guinea pig, and I’ve been following a regimen for over a year now, and when I stopped the regimen, I suffered memory loss, cognitive dysfunction, headaches and the like, I recently returned to my regimen before I was confident in finishing the book I was writing and beginning the blog you are now participating in reading.

I very well may be on this supplement train forever, but not without all the research that led me to the supplements I’m on. Remember, I’m allergic to just about everything. I have to carefully find things, that are peanut, shellfish, yeast free and gluten free for the most part. I also have to avoid medications and supplements with ACIDS (lets not forget my bladder disease).

Today, my husband and I have ventured onto the train of Butea Superba, because PubMed has literally published articles, verifying that this tubular root, has the potential to literally be a turning point in Alzheimer’s Disease treatment and prevention. So, sign us up, no questions asked. The various other articles tell you about how it helps erectile dysfunction as well as it being nontoxic to the various patients that were tested, and so on.

With our hereditary backgrounds, we know that it very well be in the cards for us, so cognitive decline is what we are preventing. So, we have chosen this supplement specifically. I’ve done the studying, and I’m not a doctor, but it never hurts to try.

Yes, that black space is not supposed to be there, that’s supposed to be full of white matter.

Another Bottle of Pills on the wall…

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Another bottle of pills…take one down, pass it around, another prescription to add to them all!

I have a shelf…. that holds EVERY bottle of prescription pills, that followed me everywhere along the way. If you see this shelf, it harbors, the pills, creams, powders, and various elixirs, some of them missing already, that carried me throughout this systemic illness. I don’t use them, some of them are a few years old, but when I was losing my mind, I was trusting that with each symptom, each prescription handed to me, would garner me a glimpse of relief.

Some of those pills did, some did not, and some made me feel like I was going blind, or various other side effects. I’m not saying don’t do what your physicians recommend doing, but remember, I don’t listen, and now I’m hard of hearing (at least in the left ear: never sneeze with a cotton swab in your left ear, you can pop your ear drum, you know that warning label… yeah you get my point)

That my dear is apparently your job, or your care taker’s job. Who has time for that? Well FIND THE DAMN TIME child, your momma isn’t going to do it for you. This was at the point, where I was taking my health into my own hands and REFUSED to let anyone put me in my grave early, or make me leave my kids when they need me the most, without putting up the biggest damn fight of my life. I was supposed to be dead by February of 2022, I’m still here bitches!

You get diagnosed with something like Early Onset Dementia, and literally you are lucky if you have 4 years left. Mind you, I still may have to relinquish to dementia, but dammit…not yet, not right now, I refuse. I am curious about that MRI though, if I have filled the black deficits in my head or not, or if they are getting worse. I do know one thing, this woman right here…. feels better than she has in years, and here I am writing the story to live forever on the interwebs. If you have found me, there is a reason…. stay tuned!!

Marrying your spouse off before you die…

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Memory Loss had impacted me the most.

I know that unless you have lost a loved one to Dementia or Alzheimer’s you may not connect with, or even consider memory loss as a problem. This was a mainstay of my systemic illnesses. It was a huge impact on my life. There are still a few years that I won’t recover of memories. Then again, it was brought to my attention, that quiet possibly anyone who went through the Covid pandemic can relate to. Of time lost with family and friends.

As I sit here now, it literally is still incomprehensible that my niece is nine years old. That I missed some valuable years of her life, at least in my mind they are lost. That I cannot ever recover memories that either weren’t created or existed, not for my recall at least. We lost time, actually I was losing time before the pandemic. I was trapped inside my own head for a time being, where the memories just weren’t there. Yet, I still existed.

I was told I had dementia at age 40…. I’m now 45. How did I manage to lose nearly three years of awesomeness, yet I still am here on this earth to tell you this story? Your guess is as good as mine. Personally, I literally chalk it up to my family, my friends, for toting me around like nothing happened, like I was still a human even though I was trapped in my head.

One of my besties recant stories to me, where I married off my husband to her. My instructions were that I had told her that she was to marry husband if I died, I made her promise. Yes, I did that, and somedays I think she’s totally okay with that option. *Insert giggle* Then there are the friends that recant the stories of how I reminded them of family struggling with Alzheimer’s or Dementia, where they saw me in public and saw the glimpse of recognition in my eyes, but the question of not knowing them, so they didn’t bother to stop to actually talk to me. I still sit in awe of those moments that I don’t recall.

Memory loss was a thing, and it’s still a thing that I think will bug me just a little for the rest of my days. There’s always a possibility I may find my way back into that hole. For a moment, I want to enlighten you, that if you have family that have Dementia, or Alzheimer’s that, it’s most important that you continue to act and behave as though they are your loved ones. It’s most important to make them know and feel that you still believe they are the people that they have always been to you. Coming from someone who was trapped in her head with no way to communicate, I truly have come to appreciate everyone who did interact with me or was there for me even in the worst of times for myself, it gave me a reason to live, it gave me the reason to fight.

Honestly, at that point in my life, I now know so many others who may find their demise the same way, and I’m not any doctor, but I can literally say, just because someone tells you that you are going to die of XYZ, doesn’t solidly mean that you lose all comprehension at that point. The little time that your loved one has on this earth, you should still respect them for the human that they are. Little do you know that some of them just may hear you. My thoughts come from having a great grandmother with Alzheimer’s, a grandmother with Dementia, and a grandfather that had ALS. Trust me when I say, after losing my grandfather to ALS and knowing that even though his body was shutting down around him, knowing that his mind had never shut off, or shut down, and that everything was dying around him, I’m almost blessed to have the insight I do right now. Love your loved ones, just as they are, just as much as you can.

I’m lucky enough to say, EVERY single person who knew that I was sick, had an understanding, and had a loving hand when it came to taking care of me as I fought within my own head to break back out to be here today. Not one gave up the fight, as I have never had a spirit that was willing to quit.