Tag death

Brain Fog, Memory Loss: Memories and how to keep them…

SpoonfulofDiva 3 Comments

Why Neurogenesis and taking notes are so very important.

“But I love it!” The boy is grasping his paper tube roll with all his might. It is now his prized possession. Kids are hilarious, you can buy them a $50 toy but they would rather play with the boxes they came in, or latch onto the wrapping paper tube that supplied the paper you wrapped said present in.

One of our dearest friends gifted our little man with a wrapping paper tube. This was now his only source of fun. Also, a source of annoyance and bacteria. Talking into the tube, shouting at people, using it as a megaphone of sorts. Poking people, using it as a cane, just like “Dr. House” on the television. Sticking it in muddy floorboard water in the vehicle on the trip home and licking it like an ice cream cone. Arguing that now he needs to SLEEP with it. Arguing he wants to take it everywhere with him, oh to be four again.

ANECDOTE NOTEBOOK

These are memories that would have been forever lost for me had I not written them down. Also a habit that once I formed it, I continued to do even when I was sick. They are scattered about in notebooks, stored in files on my NOTE on my phone, and various other places. Had I not formed this habit early on, I wouldn’t be able to supply you with the valuable history and information in how I navigated my chronic illness and beat my death date of 5 years. It’s been an entire YEAR from the date I was supposed to meet my demise.

I also began a log of sorts for my kids when I was given the approximation, I only got a few pages in for both of kids at home, logging memories for them that I had scattered about, until I “forgot” about that project. In hopes that if I did meet my demise, that they would have cherished memories I had written down in my own handwriting for them to keep forever. Out of all the advice I can give you parents, I pray that you listen to me on this. If you are not doing that, I beg of you to do it now, because as the old adage goes, “TOMORROW IS NEVER PROMISED.”

Yep, this is my brain, with all the black voids.

The really cool part is, I had enough gumption to keep a running list of medications, and supplements I was managing, and a list of all my doctors, neatly typed on a few sheets of paper stapled and attached to any new business cards or information I had to add to the list in my “drug purse” at all times, to take everywhere with me. This came in handy for a few ER visits, and every doctor visit I had to attend by myself, when there wasn’t a caretaker with me. It would have also been even handier had I been totally incapable of doing anything or communicating at all. **Another piece of advice for you or your loved ones if you are suffering from chronic, systemic, or fatal illness. ** My goal was to stay alive long enough, to figure it out, even if no one could do it for me. I had given up a lot of hope that anyone was going to be able to save my life before my demise, so with what little energy I had, I put all my effort into figuring out my body for myself, with my regular practitioner along for the ride. (His file on me cannot even fit in a 4-inch binder.)

Solidly I can contribute my survival on my desperate need to figure out the answers that no one seemed to be able to give me. They could placate symptoms with a ton of different drugs, but I wasn’t okay with dying, not yet. Neat little fact for the ones who don’t personally know me, I was in the automotive field for years, I have a mechanical engineering type frame of mind. If there is one thing I know for certain, there has to be a CORE issue to what was causing ALL of these issues, and even with the MRIs it still took me two years to conclude, that first and foremost my brain damage, could wholly be my issue. A friend in the medical field mentioned to me once that they had read, scientists had figured out how to regenerate brain matter. Shortly after there was another friend who birthed a son. No one knew until he started walking that something wasn’t “quite right” he had a limp. Several tests later and an MRI shown that the frontal cortex of his left brain was entirely missing, he was born that way. However, funny thing, nothing else seemed to be wrong, his brain started to rewire itself around what he was born with. If you need a sign, that was the sign I needed to not give up. I went to work researching like a mad woman, and I had the attention span of a gnat, and the big words confused me, most of it didn’t make sense, but when something did click, you bet your ass, I was taking notes on it until I came to a conclusion or a dead end, or I found a supplement to TRY to see if it would get me anywhere. I REFUSED to listen, I REFUSED to submit to a fate that I did not want, and here I am.

One thing I had to be careful about supplements was not falling for all the combination supplements out there. I had Interstitial Cystitis, I had to be very choosy about the things I put in my body, as to not aggravate my bladder. Funny thing, my bladder was the source of my heartburn, but it was also the source of my asthma. I VERY rarely ever have to use my MONTEKULAST (but I still keep it on hand, just in case) or my rescue inhaler in nearly four years. Even through the pandemic, I didn’t even need it when I got the second strain, my symptoms were very mild and short lived. I always choose supplements which I know the composition inside and out, and trust me, my feeds were blowing up with “miracle” supplements for everything. It seems so much easier to take ONE PILL, right? Nope, not this girl who’s allergic to ALL THE BULLSHIT.

My focus became figuring out how to repair my nervous system and create neurogenesis. (Or at least simulate it.) Again, I’m not a doctor, and I won’t even know until probably next year whether or not I really did anything to the white matter that is missing in that thick skull of mine. However, I do know, that I am a100% a functioning human compared to where I was at in 2019. I still do have massive migraines and headaches from time to time (I like to think that it’s just brain matter growing back, I don’t care if it’s denial. I’m stubborn). Mast Cell Activation will be a thing forever as far as I know. I still have fibromyalgia (at times) it keeps getting less and less though, Interstitial Cystitis may be something I will have forever, and a little neuropathy, I am able to navigate all of these successfully without outside help of prescription medications, and I’m damn proud of that. I’m here TODAY in the process of writing a book, a blog, and teach others there is HOPE, and you don’t always have to submit to placating yourself with a bunch of crazy medications the doctors hand you if you don’t really have to or want to. My favorite part of all of it, I can read and understand, and REMEMBER everything except TWO years, where I have to almost rely solely on most of my notes. MIND OVER MATTER PEOPLE!!! Quite literally, I have more mind than matter, I believe. Ha!

“NEUROGENESIS – DEFINITION

the birth of new neurons. Although most neurogenesis occurs before birth, it is also recognized to continue into adulthood in at least two areas: the hippocampus and the subventricular zone.”

https://neuroscientificallychallenged.com/glossary/neurogenesis

“Mom, bury me with my butt in the air, so everyone can slap me on the way out.”

SpoonfulofDiva 1 Comment

The confident little man, told me at the tender age of 5.

At that moment, I knew that this child in particular, had no plans anytime soon of behaving himself. He fully intends to leave this earth in a blaze of glory. Recently he ventured out on his own at age 18 and managed to crash and burn within two weeks of leaving the homestead, but we’ve got time, he’s going to one up himself until he hits a wall. In his defense, he warned me years ago. However, I plan to fulfill his final wishes anyway I can. After all, I tell everyone that story, so as to make sure if I am gone, someone will manage to get it done, just for me, so I can laugh from the unearthly plains. (Remember, how I said, I was allergic to stress? Yes, he’s THAT child, and I am owed a slap on his behind on the way out. Haha)

I’ve spent most of my time last week remembering people, mourning a loss of someone near and dear to our family, and reorganizing my room in the process. A few weeks ago, it was a father of a bestie who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. This past week, a mother of a different best friend, whom had Dementia.

I honestly wish I had taken a before picture of my bedroom, but alas I didn’t. When I started falling ill, my bedroom became a little bit of a hoard, since 2014 I’ve been collecting many things. When you start to lose mental functionality, and also if you have ADHD or ADD, there is a thing called, OBJECT PERMANENCE. You may notice yourself, or even your children leaving various objects in plain view so you remember you have them so you can use them. Don’t you dare ever put anything in boxes, you’ll forget you have them and then buy more, turning into a mini hoard.

Honestly, I’m grateful for the ability to now, 1) Have the energy and focus to start tackling the “hoard”, 2) Have the ability to recognize now, why I was doing what I was doing., 3) Share this knowledge with you, or your loved ones so they can recognize an issue before it becomes a major problem.

Your loved ones, who would regularly and normally stay fairly well organized and confident in their function, start to show signs of object permanence, starting to leave things in “convenient” places so they don’t “forget” to do things or use things daily. It actually comes on pretty subtle at first. Then, there is obsessive compulsive behaviors as well coupled with the “convenient” storage of items they need daily. It’s an ugly vicious cycle to lose your cognitive function, and the family has to constantly ask themselves, “Why did they do that?” I’m telling you the why. However, don’t you dare touch their system that they have created, because there will be an argument that ensues, or at least a lot of grumbling, because they’ve lost enough cognitive or memory to remember where it was placed, once you take it out of its position to clean the house again. To be honest, they’re going to forget anyway eventually if you know they don’t use it daily, and they definitely won’t remember it at all if it’s placed in a box next to them, it’s in a box, and it is UNSEEN. “Out of sight, out of mind.”

During the process of cleaning and organizing I’ve found a treasure trove of notes that I had written myself, organized my supplements, and took up collection of EVERY SINGLE prescription bottle they had me on during my years of illness. It’s an impressive collection, and I don’t suggest you take modern medicine by the handfuls like this. Yes, there is at least two bottles that are duplicates, but that’s because it’s how it is filled, and a few creams and lotions per prescription are tossed in to balance out the multitudes of drugs my body was consuming. Essentially, I was on at least 10 medications simultaneously at all times.

I came across one of my empty bottles of Naringin as well, and I was reminded of just how far I’ve come from the days of modern medicine to healing myself naturally. Naringin deserves a Grammy or Oscar in my lineup. It’s one of the top supplements that keeps me going. To see the supplement, just follow the link here: https://amzn.to/3JCQakR

“The results of the present study concluded that naringin can effectively improve the cognitive abilities of mice with memory impairment and exert neuroprotective effects. Thus, naringin may be a promising target drug candidate for the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease.”

Meng X, Fu M, Wang S, Chen W, Wang J, Zhang N. Naringin ameliorates memory deficits and exerts neuroprotective effects in a mouse model of Alzheimer’s disease by regulating multiple metabolic pathways. Mol Med Rep. 2021 May;23(5):332. doi: 10.3892/mmr.2021.11971. Epub 2021 Mar 24. PMID: 33760152; PMCID: PMC7974313.

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