A Journey into a Chronic Illness Survivor: Mast Cell Activation, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, Osteoarthritis, A blog of what has helped and where I go from here.
To know me, is to know the banana story. I am a survivor of a lot of things, child abuse (not at the hands of my immediate family at home), I am also a survivor of domestic abuse as an adult, on more than one occasion. Emotional, physical, you name it, and I’m also a survivor of bananas.
I never wanted to disappoint my family as a child, it was of the utmost importance at this tender age of like 4 or 5 that I never disappoint. One morning having breakfast with my dad, he’s cutting up a ripe golden banana to go on his cereal and decides that he is going to share the other half of his banana with me. After all, we had figured out for some mythical reason, I had NEVER had a physical banana until this age, I have had baby food, banana candy, banana flavored pudding, but not an actual banana.
So, I start chewing up the banana. He asked me if I liked it, and I nodded my head, he told me to, “Hurry up and finish.” so we could retire to the garage, so I could color and he could work on his racecar. I crammed the rest of the banana in my mouth, grabbed my crayons and coloring book and headed out the door. Again, like I said, to know me, you have to know the banana story, because it was the QUIETEST, I have ever been in my entire life, until I started being swallowed up by my demented bliss in my 40s.
Vividly I remember, that day I had chosen to color a lion’s mane in my coloring book rainbow in color. Bible study we had learned about the coat of many colors. I especially loved Dolly Parton when she sung her song about said coat. So the rainbow mane was born that day. I’ve always been a fan of rainbows and Rainbow Brite and Strawberry Shortcake, that will explain my hair colors that change with my every whim. I wanted to have all the colors, all the time.
I sat there, with that banana in my mouth, gagging, my mouth filling with spit. I tried to swallow several times, only to find the gagging made my eyes water, and then I couldn’t color. I don’t know how I felt a comfortable point, but for FOUR ENTIRE HOURS, I held that banana in my mouth, as my dad hastened on with his work. Until it hit him, he came over to check on me, “Misty, are you okay?” I nod my head, “Are you sure? You haven’t said a word for hours.” Again I nodded, then gagged. “Open your mouth. What is in your mouth.” To which my eyes welled up with tears as I start gagging as I stick out my tongue full of mashed bananas. “Spit it out for pete’s sake child!”
You will never learn patience, or the importance of communication, unless you have held a banana in your mouth for four hours. Trust me, at a very tender age, I learned it was even more important to be able to communicate your needs and the needs of others that day, and a great deal of patience on being rescued in a most dire situation.
As you can see, because of bananas, I had the patience to stick to my guns with my illness, and continue to fight every step of the way, even in darkest moments of me not being able to communicate very well. Even though I’m not really allergic to bananas (it’s just a texture violation), I will whole heartedly tell you I am. I even tried to eat bananas while pregnant, ripe, green, it didn’t matter… it’s instant nausea to me. However, I can make a badass banana cake, banana muffins, banana bread….just not consume a raw banana.
That’s what one of my physicians told me, literally word for word.
This physician was staring at my x-ray puzzled as to why I looked so swollen and that I literally was full of human excrement, and hot air. Insert the various jokes, of how much I’ve heard that in my lifetime, for one various reason or another. It does NOTHING for your psyche when you are chronically ill, chronically bloated, chronically FULL to the point you can’t eat, sleep, walk, or function.
I wasn’t intending on hearing these words, but that was the most likely explanation, after all, I saw the x-rays myself, and that’s exactly what it looked like to me. Now at this point, we didn’t know I had Mast Cell Activation, we didn’t suspect that my mast cells were swelling my bowels so that they wouldn’t work, but that is exactly what was happening. So, for the first year, and 3 emergency room visits, what do you think they did? Gave me human drain cleaner, I drank more MiraLAX than what was absolutely necessary for a human to do, and WAYYY MORE than a colonoscopy requires.
Eventually when I found a Gastroenterologist that was willing to take my case and LISTEN to me (I did have to fire one.) we identified that all I had managed to do was get an awesome gut infection that required medication that required them to fight with my insurance to cover the $2k plus a pill to get rid of said infection. They managed to get it done, but it wasn’t fun, and it took 3 months to heal the infection. That Gastroenterologist was annoyed that not one PHYSICIAN, ER or otherwise had suggested when I’m consuming massive amounts of human drain cleaner that it would be wise of me to be on a probiotic, it could have prevented all of that mess.
Don’t ask me about the room. I couldn’t bend over to even clean. Felt like the blueberry girl from the Wonka movies.
Talk about a blow to the gut, very literally. I was suffering for nearly an entire year and a half, with no idea what I was fighting. Again, we didn’t know MCAS was even a thing then. However, the characteristic of mast cell is that when something is agitated in the body, it gets inflamed, much like the hives, or a mosquito bite or bee sting.
After we were able to get the bowels calmed down, it’s when we found that my lady parts had already been swollen 7 times the size due to polycystic ovarian syndrome, and Fibroids…and then scheduled to have said dysfunctional items to be removed. I’d only given birth to one child, blessed with helping many others grow, and married into becoming a mother to another child, I was okay at the age of 40 to give up my right to birth. I nearly died just giving birth to the first one, it took me YEARS to even get pregnant the first time, my psyche was already okay to give up that part of me. That’s when we found the bladder issue, my bladder had been crushed, it had created another issue in the process, it’s called Interstitial Cystitis of the bladder. Essentially when it swells because it’s mad, it rips the walls open and basically has an allergic reaction to anything I eat or drink, causing great abdominal pain, heartburn issues and the like.
One hot mess is where I was in life at that time. Couple that with beginning to lose my sanity… I wouldn’t wish what I had gone through at this point on anyone.
This was my live in caretaker, and also cousin. My partner in crime, when he was available to attend appointments with me. Blessed to have him with me every step of this journey.
So with no meds…. where do I go from here? My search for healing starts with Amazon…
You are going to see ads for the things I’m using, and feel free to do the same research that I did. I’ve spent hours, days, months, but feel free if you would like to start reading the medical journals like I did.
If you have gotten to this blog, and you’ve followed all the blogs since I have started, you are going to realize that I have a HOST of ailments, along with Mast Cell Activation, Fibromyalgia, and Neuropathy, Paresthesia, and Interstitial Cystitis of the bladder, so this woman has literally been researching all the systems on Google and reading the articles, to find NATURAL remedies that didn’t require me to ingest allergens, and acids. Neat little fact, I’m allergic to peanuts, trees, grass, oh and some fungus (due to the mold) and YEAST, yes, I’m allergic to the yeast that grows in our own bodies. Wrap your mind around that!
I’m not a webpage editor or anything, so if you just follow the links to the things that I found that help me, you can order them directly.
Green Coffee Extract provides Polyphenols important for Hypothalamus Function in your brain!
And when it comes to my brain I’m all about neurodegeneration and repair, so if you read up on this link, you’ll find why Polyphenols are important to me as well!
For Urinary Tract Health 1-2 tsp in warm water a day… is just as beneficial!
I really wish I would have learned about Forest Flame Tree powder also known as Butea Monosperma years ago, the benefits are amazing. Read up on the link below if you don’t believe me. It tastes similar to instant powder tea, so if you can make a shot in warm water and drink it quickly, it’s not so bad. You can visit the article link listed below, if you want to see the benefits for yourself.
If you ever wanted an excuse to be allergic to exercise, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome and Fibromyalgia are your friends.
Desperate for answers I employed a friend to follow me to this giant diagnostic hospital for answers. My family physician thought it would be time for me to visit a Rheumatologist. Considering the options that I was running out of, I opted for the closest facility.
Neat fact, I should have opted to be dumped at the front door, because just getting to where we needed to be in that building I wanted to curl up in a ball and die. I do have to say, my friend opted to get me a wheelchair, but I’m a little stubborn about resorting to that when my legs aren’t broken, they just hurt ALOT. By the time we got to the waiting area, I have nothing left in my reserves, exertion of any sort would make me sleep for days. I wanted to cut off my feet they hurt so bad. When I would get overheated, I couldn’t breathe, I’d break out in a weird rash, sweats, EVERYTHING on my body HURT. I was lucky if I wasn’t having Parkinson’s like tremoring, and walking with all the physical pain on top of the random neurological symptoms was HARD. I was 40 at this time, (before my actual dementia diagnosis I believe) and I’m hunched over with a dementia type gait, because my nervous system has had ENOUGH, I’m shuffling around like I’m 80-90 yrs. old like I’d lived my best life already, I’m just getting started!
I got to visit the doctor along with my huge 4″ binder file that was forwarded to them before I even attended the facility. I was sent for random testing, then the Rheumatologist walks in starts poking me, and talking with me, and EVERYTHING she touched hurt. Oh…you have Fibromyalgia. Oh great, I thought to myself. This doctor quickly leaves the room and informs me I’m to see another person at another facility in an hour. “ANOTHER DIAGNOSIS, that people think is a load of total nonsense”, I thought to myself. (I only had a few believers in my small circle of loved ones that I was even ill at all.) I used to be one of those people that didn’t believe Fibromyalgia was a thing. In a few short minutes I was ever so sorry for EVER thinking that way, because when you look at people with chronic illness, sometimes YOU HAVE NO IDEA there’s anything wrong, and now I WAS ONE OF THOSE PATIENTS, talk about eating a HUGE PIECE OF HUMBLE PIE.
Clarification is needed at this moment in time. Apparently when your brain shrinks and you start to have pain issues like I have, your brain is the central (computer) of your nervous system. It runs all of the things, including the nervous system that is all those tiny wires that go all the way to your fingertips, toes, and in your skin. Well, when they get mad…. you’re just done. Just sleep is what my neurologist had told me. The only thing that will make it calm down is to hit the reset button on your personal computer (brain) so it’s time you sleep. Let me tell you, SLEEP was my OTHER hobby already, but the guy isn’t lying. (Note: When I mean sleep, I was taking naps throughout the day, because I had some insane insomnia at night, I was not actually getting a full 8 hours of restful sleep a night and that IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT than napping.) Later on, I would figure out that sleep is a big deal when you are basically experiencing neurological pain and neuroinflammatory processes, but I wouldn’t learn that for a long time later.
Back to the whole big diagnostic hospital event…. they sent me to see the actual REAL NURSE RATCHED in the flesh. At least that’s what my friend and I named her. I sat in front of this woman, as she spoke down to me like I WAS SEEKING MEDS. I had already told her my journey, and shared with her I WAS ALLERGIC to all said NARCOTICS, and ALL I WANT IS MY LIFE BACK, and explained to her, that I NEVER SIT STILL until I got sick. I WANT MY LIFE BACK without the drugs! This woman for real, asked me straight up, “Have you tried YOGA?!” I don’t remember the colorful things that followed but I did sum it up, we are wasting each other’s time and left. I WAS SO ALLERGIC TO HER JABBER, I just wanted to go home.
“People with fibromyalgia experienced significant pain and fatigue in the exercising muscle during recovery from low-intensity and short-duration resistance exercise, with greater pain during concentric contractions.” states the PubMed website.
Observational Study posted about Localized Pain and Fatigue During Recovery From Submaximal Resistance Exercise in People With Fibromyalgia
The stress just made me hurt worse, and I was over the day, and so was my friend to be honest. Obviously, that physician isn’t aware that Mast Cell Activation Syndrome makes you ALLERGIC to exercise and physical exertion. (Little did I know that basically, Fibromyalgia gave you the same symptoms after exertion too.) I guess I feel as though our medical system is flawed because when new illnesses are identified there should be some type of education about it, and there is. Some people receive it, others do not, that goes for both patients and physicians; there’s a disconnect. However, it’s the free will of the physicians you employ on whether or not they choose to continue to educate themselves and indulge in educating you in the illnesses you are diagnosed with. In this particular experience, I received a diagnosis with no education, then sent to Nurse Ratched to ask me if I had tried yoga, with no backstory or education as to why I needed it, or the benefits to it and the diagnosis I had just received a few hours before. I was confused, tired, angry, and in excruciating pain, just to make the trip and the walk into these facilities to see these people.
Remember, physicians can be hired and fired too, and you can get second opinions. Just because you have seen one doesn’t always mean you take their word as the written word of some saint in a book like the Bible. Trust your instincts and will to live!
Looking back on this experience, it was the start of when I began educating myself. In hindsight, I just got so mad that I still knew nothing when I left. Indirectly, it sent me into a domino effect of healing. First, I started reading, that was neurological stimulation even if I read only one paragraph a day, if you know, you know that brain fog is no joke. This in turn exercised my brain just enough to remain in the real world long enough to continue to strive for another few paragraphs the next day, until I was reading solidly again. Second, I did figure out that any type of exercise is better than no exercise, whether its walking in a pool, doing a sauna, just light stretching, or yoga, or simply going grocery shopping it stimulates oxygen in the brain and that was particularly important for my central nervous system. Do I exercise? NO, but I did force myself to remain as active as my body would allow, and even now I still overdo it, and have to sleep for a day or two. Has the pain improved? Absolutely! It doesn’t happen overnight, but out of pure stubbornness you got to start somewhere, right? I did.
The hardest part of living with chronic illnesses is learning to survive it.
These photos are about a month apart in 2019. On the right you can actually see I still had purple in my hair, but as you can also see, there’s significant swelling in my face. Not to mention my eyelids, chronic inflammation is no joke, but it occurs.
Dark circles are a thing that I now live with as well, and “Painting on my Personality” is the phrase I use now, because most of my eyebrows fell out (or turned white), even my eyelashes would follow suit a few times. Lucky for me though, I had a few beard hairs show up as well, three more in fact. Insert my dad into pointing out that I had a beard hair under my chin that I never knew I had at 16, while we are hanging out with my boyfriend out of town at an electronics store. If you want to really torture your teen, do that, thanks Dad. Ha Ha! So, for everyone’s enjoyment in understanding my facial expressions, I do have to reapply my eyebrows when venturing out into public.
Learning to survive was hard though, not the superficial stuff. It was the depression. The never-ending list of growing symptoms. I even had to reach out to a friend for inspiration in how I just didn’t throw in the towel entirely. Their advice, “Find a hobby, keep yourself busy, and find God.” This time, I WANTED TO LISTEN, BECAUSE I WANTED TO LIVE.
I picked up a crochet hook and FORCED myself to crochet and learn to. If I couldn’t speak, and my hands couldn’t make cake, I kept telling myself I would FORCE my tremoring hands to do physical therapy of rebuilding dexterity by crocheting for something to do. I obsessively crochet and still do when it strikes my fancy. Simply teaching myself a pattern and do it long enough so that my hands gained muscle memory was just what I needed.
Then I began to change my outlook and approach as I accomplished just one simple project at a time. As I obsessively crocheted, I told myself, “If you can do this, it’s time that we approach your meds and life differently.” I began to change my mindset, just by simply crocheting a few scarves.
By 2019 my list of diagnosis went like this: Early Onset Dementia, Interstitial Cystitis of the Bladder, PCOS, Endometriosis, Fibroids (Although, I did have to dispose of all those unnecessary female parts in 2018 because my Uterus had grown 7 times the size that caused the permanent damage to my bladder), Chronic Inflammatory Response, Edema, High Blood Pressure, Fatty Liver, High Cholesterol, Fibromyalgia, Paresthesia of my Veins and Carotid Arteries, Tremors, Seizures, Osteoarthritis **There may be a few more that I had forgotten.**
“The term “mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS)” is finding increasing use as a diagnosis for individuals who present with signs and symptoms involving the dermis, gastrointestinal track and cardiovascular system; frequently accompanied by neurologic complaints. Such patients often have undergone multiple extensive medical evaluations by different physicians in varied disciplines without a definitive medical diagnosis until the diagnosis of “MCAS” is applied. However, “MCAS” as a distinct clinical entity has not been generally accepted nor do there exist definitive criteria for diagnosis.”[1]
I’m fast forwarding through years of specialists and stories to get you to this point. This is what it is, well sort of. The best way to explain it, is I’m allergic to everything. Essentially, I’m allergic to bullshit, I’m allergic to your bullshit, my bullshit, environmental bullshit… You get the idea.
Best way to describe it, is like this. Today, I want to expose myself to extreme heat, and then work out, by the time I decide to do anything else, take a cold shower (you’re going to get hives) or eat your favorite high histamine meal, or have a margarita, ( be prepped with your epi pen, you may be welcoming anaphylactic shock into your dinner plans) unless you take all the antihistamines necessary to just walk out into the sun.
A basic sunburn makes my face swell and turn me into a sad attempt at looking like Frankenstein. My eyelids, forehead, skin swelled. For the ones who passed 7th grade science…. remember a cell with a nucleus? Remember our skin cells are made up of 7 layers of skin cells? Imagine all 7 layers of cells, swelling like 10x their size. It felt like my skin was a mask on my face, I could do nothing but ingest more antihistamines to get rid of the swelling. ALLERGIC TO A SUNBURN… I think of all the systemic diseases out there, this is the most bullshit illness to deal with. Happiness can easily get sucked OUT OF EVERYTHING you ever experience or have experienced in your life, with one accidental exposure, or spending one extra ounce of energy where it didn’t count that day.
AND IF YOU ARE STRESSED….. just forget about it that day, you might as well stay at home. Each added on additional stressor from that point will shoot you in the foot for days, you’ll wind up in bed anyway, praying to be able to sleep for the following two to three days to recuperate. In fact, sleep is your friend when you have Mast Cell Activation.
Right After the Burn
The Morning After
Swelling Started
[1] Akin, Cem et al. “Mast cell activation syndrome: Proposed diagnostic criteria.” The Journal of allergy and clinical immunology vol. 126,6 (2010): 1099-104.e4. doi:10.1016/j.jaci.2010.08.035