(Sorry dad, it is what it is. I’m going to Google it.)

It’s a theme here, as you can see, I have a stubborn streak in me that is fierce. Refusing to listen as a child was my favorite hobby for many reasons. When these symptoms cropped up, I started Googling like hell, and that was the first thing I was told to STOP doing. Don’t Google it, don’t do what you pay the doctors to do.

Let me tell you this warning: If you Google, do it right. Google the system first, if you are losing blood after you’ve had diarrhea for days, search those webs for Gastrointestinal tract and start from scratch. The only way to learn about something is to gain the knowledge of its system and function first. Even though you own the car, and have for 7 years, doesn’t mean that you’ve ever seen the fuel light, or the little button that adjusts your gas pedal, but it MIGHT or MIGHT not be there, so remember this. Same with your body.

If you go for symptoms first, you’re going to panic, because every symptom is going to lead to a death-defying disease or illness. You’re going to be thinking that you’re in the midst of a heart attack, when you are literally just having heart palpitations because you just gave yourself a damn panic attack over searching the internet wrong.

I’ve spent years when my brain allowed me to have focus to read about the systems that were going awry in body. The doctors followed and treated my symptoms which found me a tiny bit of relief. Especially when it came to the GI tract and tachycardia, random rashes, and things they COULD treat. I say the things they COULD treat, because there’s one thing about me that they couldn’t really treat, and that was my dying brain. I had two MRIs and was scheduled for a third but got cancelled during the pandemic.

The first was to find my baseline 80 yr old brain. The second was to ck the possible (TBI traumatic brain injury) concussion that I had suffered from a fall when I lost function going down the stairs in my garage. Ever know why a dog won’t sit its arse directly on a concrete floor when it’s cold out? Well, I know now, and that shit is not pleasant, get the dog a damn rug. The third, was for yet another concussion, when I slipped on the ice at my new job and smacked my head so hard, that the officer who witnessed it turned his vehicle around, and asked if I needed EMT, but alas, when you are the only manager in the store with a key, I opted to just go on my merry way with my damn headache.

In my defense, my thought process was at the point where another blast to my head wasn’t really going to hurt, since that particular area that I had smacked on the iced over pavement, just so happened to already be missing brain matter there, so it probably won’t hurt much. *Insert sarcasm here* No dad, it didn’t “knock anymore sense” into my thick skull either, at least I don’t think so…I guess, this is where you can actually remind me that I don’t have a PHD, so you are absolutely correct there, I’m still not a doctor. However, we never got that MRI rescheduled either, we’ve had a few insurance changes since then, thanks to my hubby’s employer so, I’m going to wait this one out just a little bit longer, until our insurance changes again, probably another year, as it will probably take me six months just to get to see my neurologist again.